Sunday, November 15, 2015

I love this poem by Rumi

“I choose to love you in silence…
For in silence I find no rejection,

I choose to love you in loneliness…
For in loneliness no one owns you but me,

I choose to adore you from a distance…
For distance will shield me from pain,

I choose to kiss you in the wind…
For the wind is gentler than my lips,

I choose to hold you in my dreams…
For in my dreams, you have no end.”
Rumi

There are no dichotomies


I have been listening Dr. Wayne Dyer a lot recently and still cannot get enough of him. In almost all his books and lectures he says something that I have been listening for long but only now I have begun to make observation related to it. I remember the first time I listened to him he said very clearly, “There is no man, there is no woman, there is no you, there is no I, there is only one thing and that is Universe. Uni means one”. What a powerful thought. There is no place for any dichotomy in this world! At all. So, today I was pondering upon his thought of his for which I am extremely grateful to him.

I often visit a temple nearby my home. I remember having seen a demarcation of temple territory where women may sit and where men may sit and pray. It always intrigued me as to what was the reason behind this kind of set up. Once there was some big function happening over in the temple and I caught hold of a man draped in white entirely, and I asked him, “Sir, what is the meaning and logic behind this kind of division of this room into half: man and woman”. He replied that the reason behind such a thing is to allow people who come here to just focus on God and not on anything else. His logic sounded funny to me, frankly speaking. Its possible that I am sitting in my territory and having thoughts that must absolutely not have at all while being in temple. I knew clearly that this division was something uncalled for and absolutely not advocated by “I AM”, but then I just went my way and continued to visit the temple. That set up was problematic for me especially because I have short hair and I had to open my mouth every time someone interrupted me while I tried to sit in that temple and pray. But this is a very trivial issue to which I do not deem fit to keep my conscience on. Life passed on and I allowed that thought to fall into oblivion.

And today I feel compelled to walk down that same street of thought and with newer eyes and more observing ones. God is one, and we are all His parts which have been conceived using His Mind and thus there is no distinction whatsoever at all between any living entities that exist in this world. This particular idea has changed something inside of me. I remember one year back, I really wanted someone to be my friend, I had become imbecile to the limit of going out of my mind to possess them (idiotic, I know) and that was obviously met with a lot of resistance (which is something great that happened when i look in retrospect). I am willing to confess this because I have become better. And now, this small thought by Dr. Dyer has changed my entire perspective on everything I have always wanted in my life. I am already connected to that which I want in my life, isn't that one powerful thought? I am already one with that which I wish to be in my life, because the spirit that resides in them is coming from the same source which gives me my life and spirit. That feeling of trying to possess just evaporated by this radical assertion, I stopped trying because I know its already in there and consequently my mind came to peace, a profound peace that I believe I have rarely experienced in my life. “I AM” peace. “I AM” love.

The most beautiful thing about life is that we are always evolving, we are always becoming better than we used to be, not by standards that others define but in our own eyes which is most important. I know for sure that I am better than I used to be in all aspects of my life and I am going towards more of what already “I AM” : perfection. There are no dichotomies in this world, we all our one, we all are connected. We need to remind this to ourselves more often, and when it becomes our being, we will transcend our EGOs.

With profound Love,
The Universe.

Wednesday, November 11, 2015

Thinking of you

Thinking of you.

Walking the streets that lead to my home,
Strewn all over with the dead crackers,
I remember you,
I remember I haven't wished you
A happy Diwali.

I see lights all around,
I see lights of different colors,
I hear different noises of different crackers,
And I keep walking, thinking of you.
I remember I haven't wished you,
A happy Diwali.

I type the message, I erase it,
I retype a better message, I wipe it,
I close the app,
And I think of you.
I remember I haven't done
What I had been thinking of
Since this morning happened.

I finally wish you in my heart,
I close my eyes, I think of you,
I open my eyes to the sky,
I think of you and I pray for,
Wisdom, health, happiness and love,
To always prevail in life of yours.

I wished you and I still think of you,
I know you feel something,
When I think of you,
I know my wish reached you,
And you kind of smiled.

I am thinking of you,
I have been thinking of you
Since the first time I saw you.
I wonder if you think of me.

I am walking down
The Streets of my locality strewn with dead crackers,
Reminds me of my heart pieces,
smiling at the force of an unrequited love.

I am Thinking of you and
I know you are thinking of me.



Monday, November 9, 2015

Satori?

If I combine today and yesterday, then there is a lot that has happened in the past days which has left me, I would say, more aware, humble and more kind. As you may have guessed,  news of loss, incidentally all three of them I have heard and I feel there is some meaning behind the fact that one after another God has put up these different scenes but altogether the same in front of me. All of them seem to be terrible to the people involved and it is really impossible for me to imagine the grief and the pain. Nobody can actually ever the feel pain someone feels when some tragedy strikes.

These three incidences have led to what I would call a 'shift' inside of me. Death only proves and corroborates how stupid it is to walk around carrying ego on our sleeves. Everyone, you, me are no body to behave ostentatiously in any manner, we all have to die one day. You understand what that means? Because when we do, we shall realize how spineless, illogical and futile it is always to become resentful when something does not go our way, when someone does not behave by our ideals, when the waiter serves someone who came after us before, when anything which seemingly affects our so called 'ego' occurs. (One year down the line, I realize i have become wiser).  What is there to protect, what is there to shield, what is there to preserve : EVERYTHING PERISHES. This body in which i have showed up will perish, I would not even know when and how, but it will be reduced to nothingness. That makes me feel so small. Who am I? Just a tiny speck in the vast Universe! I learn a lot today. I will be gone, there have been people before me, there will be people after me and since i am everyday going back closer to my source, I might as well leave a trail of love, compassion and kindness behind me. Incidences like death always make you value your life. I could have been chosen, but God gifted me yet another day to live, to feel the cool breeze that blows in the morning, to see small children playing in park in the morning, to view the dark sky just before dawn, to become more closer to understanding my source. He gifted me this day, I could very well have been chosen to be no-more. And still, we humans live like immortal ingrates. This question is perturbing me more than any  question ever has : "When I know I am going to die, which means that that is my end, why do I need to carry extra burden of useless things?". I mentioned the word 'shift', I cannot describe but there has been a shift inside of me which further takes me closer to glory.

The second incidence taught me something different. I have a right to live the life I dream of, not what my parents dream I should live like, not according to my partner and not according to anybody! There is a great dearth of self-knowledge among people, that saddens me. Not that I am a Mahatma, but I believe all problems have one source : ignorance. Pain from attachment reminds me to thank God for all the painful detaching experiences I have had in my life- they have cleansed my soul, transformed me from someone who acted on possessive love to someone who now believes and lives with the ideal of 'things you love, you must be ready to leave  alone'. Crying clouds judgment, I have cried in my cry-phase of life and now I do not because I know there is nothing to cry for or to put it more literally : nothing to be upset for, especially not for dramas! Everything is approaching to just the best. The tragedy is basing our own happiness in someone else, someone's way of treating us, someone's way of talking to us, someone's way of thinking about us, someone's way of pampering us- all this is a recipe for self-effacing feeling! When we start looking ourselves through the eyes of others, then what happens when those eyes are no longer there? Its important be to our own identity and own our happiness. God has made everyone strong to fend for themselves. All of us deserve a life of dignity and company of people who add value to our lives, not those who create situations which make us helpless (though that's also a choice, we learn it when we get closer to our own self).

The third incidence taught me that I must value what I have! I do not value it enough. I do not value my parents enough, once in a while I do feel for them but that is not enough! Sometimes I feel, life is enigmatic and God is puzzling kind. What would it be like, if no one ever died? Or if someone only died when some 100 people wanted him/her too, sensing their redundancy. She was 6 months old when her parents died! It shattered me to know that. I thanked God in that moment, I am thanking Him as I am writing this.

There is already so much pain in lives of people around, every one is struggling.
Dear God,
Forgive me for I have been not so grateful for all that You have showered upon me.
I am more grateful from now on.
I am  more kind from now on.
I am more loving from now on.
There is already so much of silence in the world, I would never want to contribute towards it. Friends, "Death only reminds us that it is absolute blasphemy to carry our lofty ideals of self-worth. Let's be more of what we are, a divine part of 'I AM' ".
This song describes best what I have been feeling in these two days:
Please watch this...

Thank you.
Love. 

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